She's My Hero

This is the story of a little girl who came into my life many years ago. From the day she was born, she always had delicate features. When I would hug her to myself, I would always marvel at how fragile her bone structure felt in my arms and I would usually say as I hugged, "you are so little."

One Christmas when she was about six years old, we saw the movie, "The Little One", which is the story of a tiny little donkey who was given an important task - he was to carry Mary to Bethlehem. That was the day I began calling my daughter Little One. I called her that a lot through childhood and even through her college years. But I stopped when she married. I guess I thought she had outgrown the name. Even though she still has those delicate features and fine bone structure, today she is a poised young woman and the childhood nickname sounds a little out of place so I only call her that in times of extreme stress.

My Little One became a mother for the first time in 2003. For six years she thoroughly enjoyed mothering that little boy. I watched her grow as she seriously embraced this new role. There were many fun times during those six years as well as several trying life episodes.

After several months of trying to enlarge her family, she not only was blessed with pregnancy, she found out there would be two babies this time. A few months later, she learned that these two new babies were both boys. How could she be more blessed? She was going to be the mother of three boys. She would be the queen of an all-male household.

I watched that tummy grow and grow and grow, and worried that it could not possibly grow any larger

Then the surprise. Labor pains were coming sooner than they should have. Water broke. The rush to the hospital and the emergency C-section.

Then the uncertainty. One baby was small but just fine. One baby was small and had a problem. He was rushed to another hospital for surgery. Daddy went with this baby while Mommy and brother remained.

Then the heartbreak. The diagnosis for Brett was cystic fibrosis. But my Little One has a quiet strength that rises up when called upon. She has a fierce love and determination to give everything within her to her own little ones.

Its been almost two years now since that day, and I'm even more amazed with my Little One than ever before. She has been with Brett through more surgeries. Each surgery holding that unspoken fear that he might not survive. She has nursed him through multiple infections that have weakened his little lungs. She has made an untold number of trips to the CF clinic. In 24 months there have been 12 hospitalizations. When he is home, the medicine administration and breathing treatments take up several hours of her day. All the while, there is another baby to take care of and a 6-year-old that still needs mother's guidance and caring.

She runs a small enterprise..and its a lot more than just cooking the meals and washing the clothes. She is a dedicated planner, organizer, decision maker, psychologist, teacher, nurse, life coach, life partner, comforter, chauffer, cheerleader, and confidant. Doing all of this and more while she caters to the schedules, preferences, and needs of the people she loves. And she even manages a few minutes to call her mother once in a while.

Yes, at the end of the day, she sees the results of her efforts. She sees it reflected in the eyes of her husband and children. She sees it in the happy smiles on the faces of her children. She hears it in the joyful ring of their laughter. She feels it with each set of arms that hug her tightly each night.

Now this young woman not only handles it all, she handles it all with grace and dignity. I watch her. I watch her juggle all of this and listen to her hum while she works. I see the tiredness in her face, then I marvel at how she can overcome that fatigue and give those boys a sweet smile while patiently providing them whatever it is they need at the moment. She has plenty of love to go around.

I watch my Little One these days. I watch her prepare different foods based on each boy's desires and needs. I watch her find the way to play with each boy at their own level. This means playing sports with one, trucks with another, and baby games with another. I watch her dispense the medications. I watch her give the baths. And I watch her change diapers and change soiled outfits all day long.

All of this happen while she spends hours and energy taking care of a CF baby. I see the hurt on her face that she can't cure the disorder for him. I see the worry on her face that each hospitalization and each new health challenge brings. I ask her how she manages the fears and hurts. She simply replies that she is just doing everything she can to make his days as healthy as possible. She's one absolutely amazing woman. She's my Little One. She's my hero.

Happy New Year

According to the Chinese Zodiac, the Year of 2011 is the Year of the Metal Rabbit, which begins on February 3, 2011, and ends on January 22, 2012. The Rabbit is the fourth sign of the Chinese Zodiac, which consists of 12 animals signs. The start of Chinese New Year changes every year since it is dictated by the lunar calendar.

For 2011, today is the Chinese New Year and ushers in the Year of the Rabbit. A placid year, the Year of the Rabbit will be very much welcomed and needed after the ferocious Year of the Tiger. According to the Chinese philosophy, good taste and refinement will shine on everything and people will acknowledge that persuasion is better than force. The Year of the Rabbit should be a congenial time in which diplomacy, international relations and politics will be given a front seat again. We will act with discretion and make reasonable concessions without too much difficulty.

It is also a time to watch out that we do not become too indulgent. The influence of the Rabbit tends to spoil those who like too much comfort and thus impair their effectiveness and sense of duty.

In this auspicious year, our lifestyles will tend to be languid and leisurely as we allow ourselves the luxuries of a slower paced life. For once, it may seem possible for us to be carefree and happy without too many annoyances.

Being born in a Metal Rabbit year myself, I plan to luxuriate in "my" year. Rabbits can be rather congenial, but we also enjoy our space. I look forward to walking placidly through this healing year in my life, taking the time to reflect on my Creator and the reasons why He has set me on this path in this particular time in history - and taking time to reflect on the words of Desiderata, with its words of wisdom written almost 100 years ago.

desiderata - by max ehrmann
Go placidly amid the noise and haste, and remember what peace there may be in silence.

As far as possible, without surrender, be on good terms with all persons. Speak your truth quietly and clearly; and listen to others, even to the dull and the ignorant, they too have their story. Avoid loud and aggressive persons, they are vexations to the spirit.

If you compare yourself with others, you may become vain and bitter; for always there will be greater and lesser persons than yourself. Enjoy your achievements as well as your plans. Keep interested in your own career, however humble; it is a real possession in the changing fortunes of time.

Exercise caution in your business affairs, for the world is full of trickery. But let this not blind you to what virtue there is; many persons strive for high ideals, and everywhere life is full of heroism. Be yourself. Especially, do not feign affection. Neither be cynical about love, for in the face of all aridity and disenchantment it is perennial as the grass.

Take kindly to the counsel of the years, gracefully surrendering the things of youth. Nurture strength of spirit to shield you in sudden misfortune. But do not distress yourself with imaginings. Many fears are born of fatigue and loneliness.

Beyond a wholesome discipline, be gentle with yourself. You are a child of the universe, no less than the trees and the stars; you have a right to be here. And whether or not it is clear to you, no doubt the universe is unfolding as it should.
Therefore be at peace with God, whatever you conceive Him to be, and whatever your labors and aspirations, in the noisy confusion of life, keep peace in your soul.

With all its sham, drudgery and broken dreams, it is still a beautiful world.

Be cheerful. Strive to be happy.

Max Ehrmann c.1920

The Big Countdown

February has arrived. One down and only eleven more to go. At the end of the day yesterday, I removed one of the 12 calendars from the Big Countdown of Calendars hanging on my wall in my office.

Now don't get me wrong. My job at RCPS has been good in so many ways. When I retire, I will have worked here for 22 years. However, my dreams in my early years were simple. I just wanted to be a good mother and wife. I never really sought a career other than that, but one day life changed for my husband and me, and I suddenly needed a paycheck.

So 22 years later, I can say that working at RCPS has certainly provided job satisfaction and friendships along with that steady paycheck. Yet I look forward to reaching that delightful day of taking that retirement check and returning to my original dream...except this time it will be grandmothering rather than mothering.

If life follows the plan Ron and I are developing, then one year from today I will be in Wake Forest probably still unpacking boxes and turning a new house into a home.

My oldest grandson will be starting another hockey season...one in which I will actually be able to attend all of his games.

My little twins will be going on three, so I will have a little bit of time with them before they enter the magical realm of pre-kindergarten.

My prayer is that all our planning falls into place. But all of us know that the road of life is filled with the unplanned - those unexpected twists and turns and detours. Our best lessons are learned as you deal with the unplanned. In my mind's eye, I have created what I think is a happy scenario for next February. But being happy does not necessarily mean having the scenario play out exactly as you had planned; it means determining to look beyond any imperfections and find joy in what is. Happiness can be found in remembering to be grateful for all the people in our lives and find the beauty that surrounds us all every day that we are alive.

On this first day of February, embrace gratefulness for your life, however it looks. Stop for a few minutes and take a mental walk among your blessings and "count them one by one".

For the beauty of the earth,
for the glory of the skies,
for the love which from our birth
over and around us lies;
Lord of all, to thee we raise
this our hymn of grateful praise.

            Hymn by Folliot S. Pierpoint